"Make is-ness your business"

Happy Hump day (to myself and my mom, who I believe are the only people looking at this page). Anyways, I picked up a book from a friend's coffee table this weekend and started reading it by the pool. Mostly to read aloud the parts I found funny or stupid, as it is not a book I would ever buy myself, nor read in public. But, alas, I found myself taking it home and now reading the entire book, if for nothing else than just a new perspective.

Are you ready for the title? "Make Every Man Want You (or Make Yours Want You More)". Yeah, I know. I plan on discussing this book after I finish it, which will probably be tomorrow, but today I only want to talk about one point. "Make is-ness your business". The author describes this as "the practice of acknowledging reality", "to unconditionally allow things to be the way they are". So this advice is more of the 'life' kind, rather than the 'making men want you' kind, but is it helful either way? She gives an example of being in traffic. You can complain and bitch and moan, OR you can sing along to your favorite music, make phone calls that need to be made, (but doesn't that distract you more, thus causing more traffic in the long run?) or just plain relax in your seat. Now maybe I'm being bitter, unhappy, etc.... but relaxing in the seat of your car while stuck in traffic? Have you ever driven I-35 during rush hour....or any hour for that matter? Don't get me wrong, I am always singing in my car (and at home, and in bars, and movies, and....) but that doesn't seem to make traffic any less painful. If there is a wreck or closed lane or something it's easier for me to digest, but just everyday normal traffic just doesn't make sense to me! Some car, somewhere ahead of me is just not driving correctly! I HATE traffic!! I do realize that this was just one of her examples, and it is besides the point.

The author is very clear that this life changing behavior cannot simply be acheived by practicing is-ness as a manipulation to make a situation improve or get better. You have to genuinely "give it a go". Well that seems difficult. I would think that by manipulating the situation to seem better, you would actually make it better. And after a while of doing this, it would not be manipulated, but the situation would literally not be as bad as you once thought it was. Whatever the route I take in getting there, I plan on trying this method. And what better place to start then traffic? So, if I can learn to "make is-ness my business" and accept that traffic happens, is this going to help me get a man? If I make a concious effort to enjoy my ride home from work today will I start leading a happier life in general? Only time will tell.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not unhappy, I just feel that I COULD be a great deal happier. I COULD be happier at my job for sure, and I continue to seek the perfect occupation. I SHOULD be doing something I love, right? The author, however, says to make is-ness your business regardless of your opinions on how things COULD be or SHOULD be. So if I am accepting my unconditional reality, then that may lead me to the full potential of my is-ness. Right? Am I taking this advice the right way? Who knows. I guess I'll start with the traffic, and if/when I accomplish that this is-ness will seep into other aspects of my life. You never know unless you try....

xoxo